3 Things that Make Me Confident

I am that person who is mostly not confident. I am also that person who thinks at least three times before asking questions or who thinks a dozen times before shedding my views or opinions or that person who is not the first one in the room to raise their hands. Through the years, I have noted several things about myself. I have given excuses like: this is my personality; this is who I am. But recently, a podcast by Jay Shetty added some light to my understanding and maybe answered my questions about being confident. People are not confident; they just lack the capability to make them believe in themselves.

1) Being confident is being okay with others’ opinions about you.

There are times when you are afraid to speak out. At times, you are afraid to raise your hands in a room, or times when you are not able to unmute yourselves in a meeting to give your views. It isn’t a lack of confidence, but you are just afraid of people’s opinions about you. You might say you are afraid because you lack confidence, but if you ask yourselves, it isn’t the lack of confidence but the fact that you care too much about what people think about you. In psychology, it’s called allodoxaphobia — you fear others’ opinions. Most of the time, we are just misinterpreting confidence with other people’s opinions. There is a blurred line between what people will think and what I am not confident about.

2) Confident people aren’t afraid to make mistakes.

Most of the time, we don’t show up because we know we will fail. We aren’t confident about making decisions because we aren’t sure we will succeed. What differentiates confident people from others is that confident people are okay with failing.

3) Accept yourself for who you are.

Being insecure with your body, skin, dress, culture, language, and accent is something that all of us have felt at some point in our lives. But it is something that one needs to 1) accept, 2) embrace, and 3) celebrate. Keeping true to yourselves is the best thing you can cultivate to stay confident. Making everyone happy is not your job, but staying true to yourselves is. Remember, if you don’t respect your own self, who else will? Being content with your own body, caste, and creed is the most basic form of self-love you can practice in order to gain confidence.

I am not a preacher. I will rank myself at about a 5/10 in my confidence level because I know I lack all of the above-said traits in some way or the other. I am learning, growing, and embracing myself for who I am, and so can you.

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