Not Ditching Your Employer? Ask For a Raise

Why women don’t ask for salary increases

We’re underselling ourselves.

As a speaker, author and advisor dedicated to helping women step into their bravery, I’ve heard many stories from women who’ve been too afraid to ask for pay raises fearing that doing so would put their jobs on the line. One in particular struck me as poignant: A middle-aged woman with decades of experience and institutional knowledge told me she hadn’t had a pay raise in 13 years! Think of the erosion of her pay packet thanks to inflation over that time!

After much encouragement, she asked for, and received, a pay rise. She was valued by her company, but that fact hadn’t been reflected back to her in dollar terms until she asked for more. It can be hard to accept that our employers may play hardball, but they often do. They have no legal obligation to raise our pay and may hold out on doing so until we force the issue. Until we ask.

If you find yourself in this boat — making plans to jump ship rather than advocating for more money — ask yourself why.

Have you given your current employer the chance to prove that they value you? Is avoiding one challenging conversation really worth leaving and starting over somewhere new? In the course of my work as a Disruptor of Bravery, I’ve worked with dozens of women who are struggling to advocate for themselves. I remind all of them that fear is a natural part of the process. The presence of fear is actually an indicator that you are following the right path!

Mustering the courage to ask is the next step on that road, but courage can’t appear if fear isn’t present first. Feeling that fear creates an opportunity to exercise your bravery and grow stronger. Bravery means being terrified and moving forward anyways … though not without a plan.

How women can advocate for pay raises

I’ve never advised my clients to barge into their supervisors’ offices and start making demands without first preparing themselves. It’s impossible to remove the fear from a salary negotiation, but creating a thoughtful proposal before you step into the conference room makes the whole experience far less overwhelming.

Start by building a business case for your raise in your own mind to help summon your courage and explain your reasoning, and then put that case to your boss. List out your duties and accomplishments, and research industry standard salaries for someone with your skills. Clearly outline your qualifications, experience, and tenure. Always keep in mind that it costs your employer far less to raise your pay than to hire someone new.

After the costs of recruiting and training a new hire to the same level as the previous employee are taken into account, the company will have shelled out AT LEAST the equivalent of an employee’s annual salary. This means your boss is much more likely to agree to your pay raise than risk letting you go and hiring someone else.

One of the bravest things you can do in life as a woman is take control of your financial future. A pay raise now doesn’t just mean more money today. It means more options for your future, the potential for financial independence, and the promise of a comfortable retirement. It takes courage to advocate for yourself and demand what you’re worth. Especially in a world that continues to pay women less than men. But you can do it, and I can help.

This guest post was authored by Rachael Evans

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